To be a true success, we must adapt and include. Adaptation requires sharpening of key skills, and there’s no better way than to converse with each other. The secret to good relationships is our ability to see things from another person’s point of view. Perspective is an important skill of being able to see things from a viewpoint other than our own. An example being POTUS. An effective president must communicate with other world leaders to prevent hostile relationships. Taking a different perspective into an argument brings compassion into our relationships. When these two attributes are evident in our arguments: a gateway to peace and perspective are within grasp.

“Arguing can be helpful for both your well-being and your relationship if it is done properly.”

– Episode 6: Debate

In fact, learning how to argue well can be one of the more valuable skills and a wonderful way of improving not only our relationships but also eliminates emotional bottling and stress!

WAYS TO ARGUE

• GET CLARIFICATION

Before you respond to somebody and get angry, make sure to consider what exactly the next person means. Seek clarification before you react, especially if you feel provoked by what they say or do. Do not be afraid to ask where someone gets their info. 

• PRACTICE GRACE

At times, we all need some grace and kindness, because we are all human! It’s so important to give people a second chance, and seek to understand why they might react in that certain way, and try to find out why someone is frustrated. They might just have a bad day, or they’re going through something challenging. Keep this in mind before you just assume that they’re acting in this way to hurt you.

• WATCH VERBAL AND NON-VERBAL COMMUNICATION: 

be conscious of what you say and your body language as well. Do not make bold claims like “you are always the same” or “you haven’t ever listened”; these specific words will only increase tensions, please select your words wisely and pay attention to how you develop sentences. Don’t use language to make somebody on the defensive

ADVANTAGES OF UNDERSTANDING OTHERS

PREVENTS TOXICITY 

Learning to argue well discourages us from creating a toxic feeling associated with the relationship in question, which could even induce brain damage and affect future relations as well. As we may have encountered the phrase “I’m cutting out the toxic people in my life.” However, showing an urge to understand their situation or actions could be all the difference to keep a person. 

APPROACHABILITY LEADS TO ADVANCEMENT

A sincere attempt to understand what others feel makes you more accessible and provides you an advantage in your professional careers. Nothing could be more kind than saying “I understand” on seeing someone in discomfort. Understand first to be understood later. However, if you cannot understand or agree then politely relay your view. You can change a view just as much as someone else, especially when there is a good reason.

SELF-AWARENESS TO SELF-CONFIDENCE

Studies say that understanding what others feel can enable us to become more aware of our thoughts and feelings. If you feel good, you’re going to perform better. Like my coaches always told me playing football, “If you look good then you feel good, and if you feel good then you play good.” 

LISTEN WELL 

Listening is one of the key factors in determining what others are feeling. If people want to talk, listen to me properly. A lot of people don’t listen.

“Many people do not listen with the intention of understanding; they listen to respond.”

– Episode 6: Debate

Listening to other’s perspectives in an argument can have positive impacts on our relationships. When we think of empathy, it naturally helps us to change our reactions to the way we think others think and to ensure a stable emotional response. This doesn’t mean we’re constantly trying to please others. Clearly, our reactions will sometimes end up in disappointment or dissatisfaction; it simply means that we try to empathize with others as best we can to ensure that we create the most positive collaboration that will lead to successful relationships.

Experience leads to Excellence

Practice makes perfect. There is always the worry of arguing with someone who can be dramatic or ignorantly passionate. However, they are people apart of this process with us. Following these guidelines can lead to understanding how to handle different character traits rather than feeling divided. 

Resources:

Nandi, Partha. “Health Benefits of Arguing.” Ask Dr Nandi, 17 Dec. 2019, askdrnandi.com/health-benefits-arguing.

Guest Author for www.rtor.org. “Ways a Toxic Environment Can Be Detrimental to Your Physical and Mental Health.” Resources To Recover, 4 Nov. 2019, www.rtor.org/2019/10/07/ways-a-toxic-environment-can-be-detrimental-to-your-mental-health/#:%7E:text=The%20stresses%20of%20a%20toxic,all%20aspects%20of%20your%20life.